My unsupportive mother

I usually don’t blog about my family, but I have to get this out.  I have the most unsupportive mother.  OMG!!!  Parents are supposed to encourage, nurture, support, guide, give sound advice, listen to, and raise their children you to be the best person he/she can be.  My mother doesn’t do any of these things.  If I want something really bad, I can be a very ambitious person.  I have a 4 year old son and I have dreams and aspirations for him.  I want to be able to provide him with things that I have never had – a better living environment, a good education, exposure to different cultures, etc.  In May, I decided that I wanted to move to Raleigh, North Carolina because I believe that the area would be a great place to raise my son.  I have been applying for so many federal jobs to make that move.  Of course I cannot move without God moving on my behalf, so the move hasn’t happened yet.  I have also been applying for jobs overseas.  Being overseas would expose my son to different races, cultures, and languages.  He would also get a great education and be in a better living environment.  Oh!!!  I forgot to mention that I have a huge desire to travel.  I would love to go to Spain, France, Greece, Italy, Japan, China, Australia, and even Antarctica.  I regret not going into the military after I graduated from high school.  Anyway, I am in between North Carolina and traveling overseas.  I frankly don’t care because either option would be great.  So today I asked my mother (since she works in human resources) should I apply under DEU or MP.  She said MP because being under DEU would start me over on a probationary period.  She asked me why and I told her I was applying for a job with DEA.  She asked where.  I was dreading telling her because I know how pessimistic she is.  My mother is not an ambitious person or motivating. She doesn’t dream the impossible dream and believes that certain things are just not obtainable because of her environment and circumstances.  She doesn’t think big or outside of the box.  That is not me.  I believe the sky is not the limit and that I can do ALL things through Christ.  I believe that God has awesome things for me and I don’t want to live an ordinary life.  I told her that I wanted to start my own jewelry business and she thought that was a dumb idea.  However, she sells Traci Lynn jewelry.  Ummm Hello????  How does she think Traci Lynn got her start.  Anyway, I told her that the job is in Bangkok, Thailand.  She said, “you’re stupid”.  (Wow.  I would never call my son stupid and make him feel like crap.) I said why.  She said nothing and hung up the phone.  She called me after I got home.  To sum up what she said, she said I don’t know what I want to do and asked if I know how those people live over there, and if I was running from Nick.  I told her a few benefits that the job offers, but she wasn’t trying to listen. I asked her what is wrong with moving overseas and she couldn’t even give me a good reason. She just said forget about it and don’t talk to her about moving overseas again. Ok.  I didn’t talk to you about moving overseas.  I asked a question about applying under DEU and MP.  That’s my mother . . . the dream killer and unbeliever.   I never want to be like her.

Yes, he was serious

Last week, my ex-thank God-husband told me that the contract for his job was ending on October 13.  I receive child support and the child support goes towards daycare/educational expenses for Nicholas.  Last night he called and said he was offered another contract job in Iraq for a year.  He didn't get the job the last time he applied because he could not get a passport.  He owes a large amount of money for arrears. He asked me to "work with him" on the issue so he can get the job to start work again.  At the end of the conversation, he asked me if I could forgive the arrears so it can be taken off of his credit report.  Yes, he was serious.  You know, there is a reason for not allowing people who owe child support to leave the country.  SMH!!!

Banding

While I was on one of my new favorite hair blogs, Mane and Chic, there was something mentioned about banding.  Interesting.  What is banding?  I followed the link that led me to a bunch of YouTube videos on banding.  Banding is an alternative to blow drying your hair.  The heat from the blow dryer can be very damaging to your hair.  I am having flashbacks of going to a Dominican shop to have my hair blown out.  It is a very painful process.  The heat that comes from the blow dryer feels like it is coming from hell.  I thought my scalp was going to melt.  The heat is treterous.  I like the end result of obtaining straight hair without perming, but the process that I go through is not worth having a straight hair style. I have a co-worker who braids and two strand twist her hair when it’s dry.  It is so much longer and gets less shrinkage.  I wanted to try to two strand twist my hair without blow drying, but I did not want to sit and blow dry my hair for a hour.  This banding technique sounds like the answer to my problem.  I may use this technique the next time I wash my hair.

Discovered Co-Washing

I co-washed my hair for the first time this weekend. I must say that I did notice a huge difference in manageability. First of all, I hate wasting products. That is my hard earned money going down the drain. The last time I washed my hair, I used some cholesterol to deep condition my hair. I used Queen Helene Cholesterol Hair Conditioning Cream. I hated it. It made my hair so dry. What works for some, doesn’t work for others and this product did not work for me. This past weekend, I used a product I thought I would not go back to – Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayonnaise. I washed my hair with Avalon Organics’ Lemon Conditioner. I love this conditioner. It smells awesome and doesn’t leave my hair dry like other conditioners. I rinsed and applied a large amount of Hair Mayo to every inch of my hair. I put a plastic cap on and tied a satin scarf around to prevent water from leaking down my neck and to help create some type of heat. I left the mayo in for an hour. My hair felt so soft after I washed out the mayo. It also felt less “poofy” and less dry. I then applied Garnier Fructice leave-in conditioner. I’m not super happy with Garnier fructose because of the ingredients. That is also the reason I thought I would not go back to using the hair mayo. Like I said, I do not like wasting money, so when these products run out, I will be trying something new. Anyway, my hair was much more manageable after my co-wash routine. I still have some left over shampoo that I may have to trash eventually. I love the co-washing experience too much to change now.

Still Natural

I have been natural for two years. Wow!!! That is a long time for a woman who has been getting her hair permed since what . . . the 5th grade maybe. I love my natural curls even more. My only delima is that I have yet to find some good moisturizers. Taking care of natural hair can be expensive. If you don’t want products with a bunch of chemicals, dyes, and ingredients whose name you can’t pronounce, you are going to have to shell out some real money. The Garneir Fructice leave in conditioner makes my hair dry and flaky, and I don’t see any Eden Body Works products at Wal-Mart anymore. Bummer!!! My favorite shampoo and conditioner comes from a line called Avalon Organics. They are herbal products that make my hair feel soft and smelling good. I have found a good spray moisturizer when I have two strand twists. The line is by Taliah Waajid. I love love love the Protective Mist Bodifier.

Getting back to the two strand twists. Ok, so, in order to save money, I learned how to do my own two strand twists. They are not perfect, but I can lift my head in public when I do them.  I have been wearing a curly ponytail for the last three weeks. I am getting tired of the curly tail. I need something new. I have been perusing a few natural hair sites and have come across some women who have been using perm rods to get those nice looking curls. I may try that for a new style. Currently, I wash my hair every three weeks. That depends on how long the two strand twists and twist outs last. I know I have to moisturize often, but I don’t. I really need to kick it up a notch. I don’t want my hair to break off. I still have this dang on bald spot and the top of my hair is still thin. HELP!!!